The Official, Exclusive, Non-invasive Mailing List for Demetri Martin

Latest Message from Demetri


Thanks for visiting my site. You can scroll down or click on the tabs or you can just stare at the screen for a while. I’ll be touring Canada and America in November and December. Tickets are available under the “Tour” tab. If you want to book me for a show, you can contact my agent. His name is Nick Nuciforo. He is at 310-273-6700 and

That’s about it for now. Thanks.


What’s Your Major? Tour Dates

Feb 26              SUNY Brockport

March 2            University of Washington

March 3            University of Alaska at Anchorage

March 4            UC Berkeley

March 5            Stanford

March 23          Auburn

March 24          UT Dallas

April 1               Texas Christian University

April 2               Florida State University

Other Pages I have on the Internet

My Facebook page is here.

My Twitter page is here

Body Language

“High five!”



This is a poem that is a palindrome.

Excerpt from my unfinished Autobiography

She was beautiful. There was no doubt about that. She was also intelligent. There was some doubt about that. My first doubts arose when I saw the tattoo she had on the small of her back. There was a spelling mistake in it. When I told her this she smiled and began to cry. I said, “What’s wrong?” She sobbed and said, “I didn’t know I had a tattoo on my back.” We embraced, and in that instant the whole world seemed to shrink, not by much – only slightly, but enough to notice. It definitely seemed smaller.  As I rested my chin on her shoulder and my hand on her face, I noticed that she had a tattoo on ear as well. It said “Shhhhh”, so I didn’t mention it.

Point Your Face at This
This is a Book
Important Things With Demetri Martin: Season 2
Demetri Martin. Person. (2007)
Demetri Martin: Standup Comedian (2012)


Hi. I’m going to perform on some of the shows on the Oddball Fest tour. Here is a link:


Based on lyrics I’ve heard it seems like there was a lot more rambling going on in the 60s and 70s. Fewer ramblers these days.


I laugh in the face of danger, but I do it from a pretty large distance. I guess it’s more me Iaughing facing in the direction of danger.